Wasabi's awakening

As I delve into my spiritual journey, my life has been shedding. It has been shedding all the things that no longer served a purpose for my soul.

My body didn’t know that, neither did my thoughts, nor my emotions, but the universe did and so did my higher self. The little bits and pieces of a life that did nothing but bring me anguish, sadness, drama and confusion.My last five years have brought me the highs of a life that could possibly buy me a whole lot of beautiful things, to look beautiful, well-kept, expensive and high maintenance. It was a life of expensive restaurants, expensive clothes and expensive hobbies. Sure I was extremely pleasing to the eye. I could buy almost anything I wanted, hop on a plane and go to New York for a week. So that I could buy more expensive things that I probably wouldn’t need, but it would impress my friends. At least, at the time, I thought that it mattered. My true friends didn’t care about the brands, they didn’t care about what they could get out the friendship that we have, they also didn’t care about the overpriced, over-rated shallowness of a pretentious world.

These are the same friends who have seen me at my worst, been with me through thick and thin (literally and figuratively) and brought me nothing but memories that would last lifetimes. They love me, no matter the stories, the journey and the mistakes.

As I clean out my closets, my house and parts of my life that bring me no joy, I have found that many of the materialistic comforts during that time have brought me no happiness. Instead they bring me back to a friendship that no longer exists, memories of a decadent lifestyle that I didn’t fundamentally enjoy and things that I have done which seemed to be a good idea at the time.

The layers have been falling off, the rawness of a new reality is emerging, it’s a little uncomfortable but at least it brings me joy, it brings me happiness and it brings me my truth. Not anyone else’s. Not their opinion of who they think I should be, not their opinion of how I should live my life and not their opinion that somehow my journey is wrong.

It’s okay, it’s not their choice of how I decide to live my life, yet despite the judgement and the criticism of those who think they know better for me, I have discovered joy, happiness and love. Love beyond a measure. Not because I was chasing it, not because I was so desperate to be liked or loved and not because of sheer loneliness.

I can say with conviction that I know who I am, I know that I am on a quest, I don’t know how long I will take, I don’t know who I will meet along the way and I really still don’t know where I am headed. But I do know this, I will no longer pretend to appreciate the frivolity of time wasted with ungrateful people, unnecessary drama and belong to a world that brings me no joy.

Yes, I am shedding, if you don’t see me in your life, it’s just a part of my journey, it’s not you, it’s me.